Day 4

So I woke up this morning with a mild hangover but no good Friday night to show for it. I've now finished 4 of my first 5 big chemo days and it's starting to catch up to me. Days 1 and 2 were fine, almost no symptoms whatsoever. Overnight and in the morning of day 3 I got some mild nausea but nothing a nausea pill and a small bite to eat couldn't fix. But this morning was a bit worse again. I managed a piece of toast before heading out the door this morning but that was about it.

During chemo this morning I started to feel worse. I'm pretty sure it was because my vein decided it was done taking the chemo and started backing up. So mid treatment I had to get a new IV. That was the 3rd in 4 days. Apparently veins, or maybe just my veins, don't like taking chemo drugs for days on end. I am starting to realize that I'm going to either have to get a "picc line" put in or have about 20 IVs run over the next 2 months. Did I mention I hate needles? I hate needles! I lied there in the chair during all this under 2 blankets and I still couldn't stop shaking. It's a weird feeling to describe. I felt a little nausea, a little tired but like I had drank 2 large coffees all at the same time. I guess how you would feel if someone had been pumping heavy metals in liquid form through you for 4 days. To put it in perspective, Adrienne dropped me off and went to go give blood (what a good person my wife is) and on the way back offered to bring me an ice cream which I said no to. It's the first time during treatment I've denied myself ice cream but the thought of it made my stomach tumble.

I came home and slept away the afternoon. It's 9 PM now and I feel significantly better. I'm hoping tomorrow will go a little easier. I still can't complain, my oncology nurse told me I would feel "extremely unwell" during the five days of chemo and for a day or 2 later and I wouldn't say I feel that way yet. But again I know it gets worse with each cycle. I also have to keep reminding myself that no matter how crappy I may feel that in 9 weeks there is a 98% chance that I'm cured. I sit there all day surrounded by people who would give anything for those odds. There are some people who are just doing chemo as a preventative measure and others I've talked to who have been given 10% survival odds. One such lady I chatted with yesterday said she never knew how many good friends she had until her diagnosis a few months ago. I feel the same way. A piece of advise she gave me was that you can't go back and live your life over again, you can just go out with a bang. I hope to go out with a bang for the next 60 years after all this is over.